I notice that the enemy works overtime to distract me from reading my word the way I used to daily. I make sure to read a scripture or two. My thoughts are constantly manipulated with foolishness and weighed down with issues that are beyond my control or are not mine. I have to swap negative thoughts like an annoying fly. I reflect on the days when I wanted to take my own life, but that is my past. (Luke 4:8 KJV, ....Get thee behind me Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.) I am looking forward to my victory over my current situations that is trying to ruin me. In my mind I repeat (Isaiah 54:17 KJV, No weapon formed against me shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn….) No enemy that come against me will win! I have the victory, in the name of Jesus! This should be my mantra by now, because when I overcome one issue, another comes my way.
I went away with my mother on her ministry trip a few weeks ago, I needed to be with God and get a break from my life. My mom told me the celebration, with the praise and worship was a blessing. With everything I was going through, that is what I wanted and needed. I was blessed the way I had hoped and imagined, but then I came back and I found myself dealing with all kinds of issues. Seeing that the more I stand for God, and declare Jesus as my everything, the more the attacks. In the past I would have crumbled, but I say let my haters hate and my enemies do their best, my God will protect me, because this too shall pass! I declared healing in my body and received prayer; the doctors call with news that they found something and I need more tests. No worries, I declare I am healthy, in the name of Jesus! I received it already, so no test results are going to matter. I know I am doing my everything in my power to be mentally, physically and spiritually 100%.
My path is rough, but not rough enough to give up, I know that as long as I can call on Jesus, I can make it! I will make it! They wonder how I do it? How am I not angry? How am I surviving with no job? How? My answer, God is good. He is more awesome than I can imagine. I need not limit the things He can and will do for me. I will be a little sad, but it is temporary. I will be a little angry, but it is temporary. I will hold my head up and walk in His power and strength! God is the only reason I am still walking this earth. He told me I have a purpose, yet there are days I feel useless, but I know I am not! I may be struggling to find my way some days, but all I do is talk to God and pray, He brings me through. I struggle to stay focused. I struggle to complete tasks and I am disappointed in myself. I wonder what is holding me back, I have to fight to stay on track. Others do not want me to succeed, they want me homeless, jobless and miserable. Been there, done that, not going back! They take my kindness for granted. I feel abused and manipulated, but I cannot dwell on it. I thank God for making me who I am, instilling strength and wisdom in me. The more I seek Him, the better He makes me. My reaction to adversity is defeated with prayer. This is a season or time, like many others that will pass. It is only temporary according to Pastor A. R. Bernard. In the “meantime”, I am working hard to press on and move forward. Reading my word gives me the peace I need.
Thank you Lord for everything, the good, the bad and the ugly, because You show me I can be better and I can do better!
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the peace You give me when everyone in my life tries to ruin my day and stress me out, I pray to keep your words in my mind and in my heart so I can stand strong against my enemies, who keep coming for me. (Psalms 59:1 KJV, Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God: defend me from them that rise up against me.; Psalms 64:1 KJV, Hear my voice, O God, in my prayer: preserve my life from fear of the enemy.) I need your word and your promises to sustain me, Lord. I am committed to You and want to walk in your Righteousness Lord, my Savior each day. (Psalms 55:22 KJV, Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.) You tell me to be patient and wait, and I am trying. It is difficult some days because the more I seek your face Lord, the more my enemies come for me. The more I have to fight the negative thoughts and beg you to protect me. I continue to love and trust you because I know, You Lord, know what is best for me. A day will not pass without me depending on you or appreciating You for all You have done and continue to do. God I love You. You bring me joy and peace. I long to do better. I pray to do better. God I beg you to help me.