What do you do when you experience pain in your relationship? How do you respond to the person who betrayed your trust? How do you move forward?
These are just a few of the questions I had when my relationship suffered a major blow. Once the shock wore off and the realization that I needed to make some changes, I was compelled to turn to the Word of God. I wanted to know what He wanted me to do and I couldn’t imagine how I could continue to pray for someone after the writhing pain I had experienced. But I found God’s Word telling me to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,” Proverbs 3:5. I was also told that if I loved God, I must also love my brother and sister; God would prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; and what He magnified most for me during this experience, 2John 6 “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.”
I made a decision to walk the way He called me to walk and immerse myself in His Word. I took all of my emotions, feelings of betrayal, anger and countless questions and placed them at His feet; not once but every time I felt them rise and started to imagine myself doing things to the person that I had not been called to do. No matter what I felt, I had to remember that He was the balm, the healer and comforter. I learned how to worship God and He amazed me by meeting me in the center of my worship. Sometimes, you have to call on Him from moment to moment but my worship proved to be the place where my pain was soothed in His presence.
The walk I was experiencing with Christ forced me to examine who I was in Him, especially when I felt that I was standing in the center of a tsunami. I was forced to ask myself if I could truly be passionate for the risen Savior who was pierced for all of our transgressions yet not desire to pray for those who don’t even understand how deep that is…that Jesus knew He was going to die, that His Father would not spare Him but He would be sacrificed for the sins we commit daily and watch others commit? I realized how difficult it would be to show love to my husbandwhen he wasn’t sending it back my way. But God loved us first and that is why we love. We were thoughts in the mind of the most high God and born in His heart. God’s love is rock solid enough that it doesn’t matter what we do; He will still love us and desire for us to be in the place to receive His love. God has the same love for my husband.
What I have learned so far is that you have to reframe your experience every morning. When you wake up, the enemy is waiting to attack and tell you that what you experienced from God was just a dream, not possible or unreachable. But I had to affirm my belief in God and His promises as He gives us new and tender mercies each day. I had to wait on God for His healing. I had to wait on God for answers to my questions. I had to look for God in the storm, and when I sought Him, He said I was right where He needed me to be. Be encouraged and seek Him at the worst point in your storm. Be open to God and He will do the rest. Isaiah 30:21 says that, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”