Indescribable Joy Part 6 - Keep Knocking!!

Post by Carla Nelson

Previously I mentioned there being two steps that proved most productive for me.  In part 4, I shared the first being getting to work in the ministry.  In this final part, I’ll share the second, which is by far the ultimate!  I kept continuously seeking God until I was sure without a shadow of a doubt that I had my answer.  Ultimately it is God who has established your purpose, so it is He who has the definite answer.  How will you know you have the answer?  A peace and joy like you have never known before will surround you.  As I call it, an Indescribable Joy!!  Keep seeking Him, you may get frustrated along the way, and that’s okay, persevere it will be worth it.

“Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.”

Matthew 7:7 AMP

“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].”

Colossians 3:15 AMP

Before I close, I would just like to share a few points for clarity that I was often confused about.  Everything we receive from God is a gift, not received by anything we have done, but as He has desired based upon how He has designed us. Your gifts, talents and abilities are the tools you have been equipped with to fulfill your purpose.

These endowments (powers) come in the form of spiritual gifts, talents and abilities.  Spiritual gifts are supernatural endowments such as gifts of healing, prophecy and/or working of miracles [I Corinthians 12:7-11; Romans 12:6; Ephesians 4:7-8 and 4:11-12].  Talents are natural abilities that we perform exceptionally well and become known for that can equate to money [Matthew 25:14-30]. Talents are often times things that others have to or attempt to go to school to learn how to do.  Abilities, often learned, are natural things we do that others can do as well.  For example many people can sing (an ability), but Yolanda Adams sings and you know her voice without question.  That voice and how she uses it causes her to stand out amongst all the rest (talent).  I can type, so can most of you, so that is an ability that most of us have learned or can learn.

Your purpose is your mission, your focus, what you are supposed to do in life as commissioned by God to assist in operating the world.  What you are commissioned to do, it's the thing that drives you, motivates you and fulfills you.  It is your reason for existence.

In Deuteronomy 8:18, we are reminded that it is God who gave us the power to get wealth, then the scripture tells us why, so that He may fulfill the covenant (promise) He made to our forefathers. So God is fulfilling a promise through us, if we obey Him.  Therefore if we don’t obey Him, we could hinder His work or miss out on being a part of it.  God works through people in the earth, it is the order, which He established from the beginning.  Be obedient and seek God’s will for your purpose, we see in Matthew 25 that He left us in charge and we will have to give an account upon His return.  It is us who are supposed to provide answers to the problems of others and get the credit. It is us that are supposed to be a light that cannot be hid.  Be that person.  Seek Him for the answer of your purpose and be fulfilled like never before.  Everything around you will change as a result because you will have direction for the rest of your life and then you will be fulfilled in every way.  Enjoy your journey to Indescribable Joy!! 

“The heavens are the Lord’s heavens, but the earth has He given to the children of men.”

Psalm 115:16 AMP

“Let every person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God’s appointment.”

Romans 13:1 AMP

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Matthew 6:33 NLT

Indescribable Joy Part 5 - Two Key Words!

Post by Carla Nelson

When thinking of discovering your purpose, I recommend two key words to meditate on – passion and free!  When I discovered my purpose, I realized that it was something that I was passionate about and performed for others free of charge all of the time.

So what are you passionate about, in both senses - love and hate?  As well as what do you always find yourself doing for others free of charge? 

What you are passionate about you are motivated by.   It’s one of those things, someone could call you in the middle of the night and you would have no problem jumping up to assist in doing it.  It causes you to get excited and builds momentum in your heart and mind when thinking about it.  That’s your purpose.  Simple it sounds, simple it is.  We just overlook it because it’s an innate ability.  You love it!  Have you ever heard people say they don’t feel as though they are working?  Those people have discovered their purpose and are completely happy with their lives.

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. ”

Colossians 3:23 NLT

God put us here to serve others and enjoy life as well.  I mentioned hate as a passion also.  Why? Because often times the things you are passionate about cause you to be an advocate for someone else.    You may hate to see someone taken advantage of in a certain way and the thought of it just ignites a drive (passion) inside you to assist them.  This is how public officials start their careers because they want to make changes to assist people.  This may be your purpose.  What do you hate?  Example, I hate lack of organization, it just irks me.  That’s because I have good organization skills, so well that a friend offered to hire me to organize her home after visiting mine. 

The second word - Free!  The thing or things you’ll do for free without even thinking about it.  It brings you joy, so you just jump to doing it whenever there is a need without ever thinking about receiving money in return.  In the example above for organization, I often times find myself wanting to just get up and put things in order for people and could care less about receiving payment for it.  It would just feel so much better putting the things in order and looking at the end results.

God wants us happy!  He gives us purpose that is twofold – solves the problems of others (service) and brings fulfillment to our lives in a multitude of ways.  If you don’t love what you do, it will rob you of your joy!  That’s why so many people hate going to work, lack of passion.  You are at work more than you are at home and everything else in your life revolves around that factor.  Embrace your passion for what it is (your purpose) and experience the greatest joy ever in your life!

“And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God.”

Ecclesiastes 5:19 NLT

Indescribable Joy Part 4 - Getting to Work!!

Post by Carla Nelson

Of the six steps that I have been sharing with you, there are two steps that proved to be the most productive for me.  Today I will share one of those steps and in part 6, I’ll share the other.  Getting to work in the ministry is today’s focus.  I remember when I first accepted Christ as my Savior, my Pastor said, (restating as I remember it) “Now get to work!  Come into the Kingdom working.”  And that’s what I did.  Truly one of the most instrumental things I could have ever done.

Moving builds momentum, so I started my journey of discovery in one area of ministry and progressed to other areas as my aptitude developed.  Some of you may be asking - What do I do?  What ministry do I select to volunteer with?  Well not just anything for the sake of saying oh I volunteer for the ministry.  Start with where your desire is. 

“The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord he guides it wherever he pleases.”

Prov. 21:1 NLT

For me I started with what I knew - the choir.  Having an open heart and mind and being observant, doors of opportunity opened.  Later someone within the ministry asked if I had interest in volunteering for a non-profit organization outside of our ministry.  I took her up on the opportunity.  So I volunteered inside and outside of the walls of the House of God.  I grew spiritually, relationally and definitely further developed my skills.  I began to function with skills I didn’t even know I had.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Prov. 27:17 NIV

My journey of development and preparation to begin my mission in life continued over the course of 16 years.  During this period of time I obtained a Spiritual Mentor/Parent, a Pastor who has been given spiritual insight into my life.  He began to give me assignments based upon God’s instructions and those projects led to development of my skills and faith.  Even for me to begin to start writing again.  My Mentor who I haven’t had contact with me in some time and gave me an assignment that reaffirmed my desire in writing and confirmed that I was supposed to put the skill to work.    

I cannot, nor will I say it will take the same amount of time for you.  I can say that when I look back over those years, there were times that I knew what I was supposed to be doing, yet like the children of Israel who stayed in the wilderness for 40 years because of their mindset, so did I.  Either I let the fears of others invade my heart or wrestled with my own doubts and fears.  Nevertheless, God is faithful even if we are not.

When we look at celebrities it often seems like all of a sudden a person rose to the top from out of no-where and that is not the case.  When you hear their life story, you realize, nah there was a process for that person.  Our process is customized based upon the lessons we need to learn and how long it takes us to be receptive to learning them.  We determine based upon our mindset how long it will take to get there.  We will remain in one position or situation until we learn the lesson we need to learn.  If you fail the first grade, repeatedly, you’ll stay in the first grade until you learn the objectives predefined for the first grade.  Whether that involves getting a tutor, switching teachers, schools or moving to another state, you remain in that same grade until you accomplish what’s required and then and only then can you move forward.

Discovery of purpose is a process.  The thing is you have to start somewhere, and it’s better to start late than never at all.  Be patient, walk in the spirit, maintain a teachable spirit, be aware and enjoy don’t reject your journey.  You will discover your purpose.  He put it there for you to unearth it.

“Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom.”

Eccl 9:10 NLT 

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”

Prov. 25:2 NIV

Indescribable Joy Part 2 - Discovering Your Talent

Post by Carla Nelson

As I mentioned in part 1 of this series, there were six steps that proved beneficial in helping me find out my purpose Today I’ll elaborate on the second, in the following weeks I’ll share the other four steps that worked for me.

As I previously shared with you the gifts we have been given work together to enable our purpose and empower us to thrive.  Utilizing our gifts allows us to assist others in resolving their problems, and by helping others is how we get blessed.  Gifts are that thing (or things) that are usually overlooked, because they are as natural as the air we breathe.  It is our makeup, how He designed us, our fingerprints to leave an imprint on someone else‘s life. So let’s pick up from there.  Discovering my talents is one of the tactics I used.  Our talents are our weapons that enable us to fulfill God’s plan. 

In Genesis 1:28, we see that God blessed Adam and Eve and then gave them a commandment.  When researching the root word bless, I found one of the definitions of the word to mean to endow, as with talent [1].  So God gave them a talent then provided instructions.  When we are hired for a career, our employer knows that in order to produce results we have to be appropriately equipped with the proper tools.  Once we get the tools and learn how to properly function with them, then we can begin to fulfill the mission.

“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over very living creature that moves on the ground.”

Genesis 1:28

Based upon what I have seen in the scripture, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that God endows us at birth with our talents.  Jeremiah 1:5 shows God establishing purpose before being formed in the womb.  So before we are launched out into this world, God equips us and calls us according to the role we are predestined to play.  Now we are responsible for that discovery. 

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations — that’s what I had in mind for you.”

Jer. 1:5 (MSG)

“We see in the parable of the talents, we are given our talents according to our several ability; one individual may be given one talent, yet another may be given five talents.”

Matthew 25: 14-30

Taking a journey through my childhood was how I began discovering my talents.  I spoke with my parents and reminiscedabout many events in my life.  As a child I loved baking mud pies and eating the remnants of cake batter from my aunt making a cake from scratch.  Till this day I love cakes, just love them.  I’m not into candy so much, but fresh baked pastries I seek. Playing dress up was a favorite pastime, how I loved dressing up in my aunt’s snakeskin heels and got into some major trouble for doing so.  How she would yell, “Don’t mess up my shoes!”  Sometimes I think she hid them from me.  I remember playing like I was a Queen in my Mother’s prom dress; it was sooo too big for me, but such fun.  All through high school and even now, with exception for those bad days, I still like to dress up and look nice.  At one point I had a diary and loved writing in it, I got away from that for a while, but now I am writing to you. 

Don't get confused in your discovery process about the number of talents you have. The number is not important, the discovery is.  In most cases having more than one talent affords us the ability to use them as extensions for further service and gain. My ultimate purpose lies in event production and writing is a major part of that role.

During childhood many of us are afforded the opportunity to explore these talents in many different arenas (sports, music lessons, organizations, etc.) many of us are not.  Have you heard the statement people often make, “I’m a Jack of all trades, master of none”?  These are talented people in discovery mode, trying to figure out just how those talents can be unified for the production of one or many profitable outcomes.  It doesn’t matter what age you start your discovery process, just start.  This may be a painful process for some, but it will be so worth it on the other side.  Don't rush the process. Embrace the process; Embrace your talents and Thrive!

Happiness is...My Testimony

Post by Minister Reggie Alvarez

It was some years ago when Pastor A. R. Bernard stepped out onto the pulpit and made this statement, "An unhappy Christian is an oxymoron.” Now, this is what I heard it...NOT HOW PASTOR SAID IT...but how I heard it: “If you are a Christian and you are unhappy...you are an oxymoron!” 

Boom!!! I needed to hear it like that, because for years I have wrestled with depression. Even as I taught classes and preached on Sundays and did offerings and ministered with my step team and baptized new believers in Jesus Name and encouraged hundreds (maybe even thousands) in the faith…I wrestled with being…happy. 

So the moment Pastor A.R. Bernard made that statement that an unhappy Christian is an oxymoron, my mind quickly rationalized it like this, “Well…I am an oxymoron!” 

It is important at this time that we understand the definition of an oxymoron. An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction. The rhetorical term oxymoron, made up of two Greek words meaning "sharp" and "dull," is itself oxymoronic. 
(http://grammar.about.com/od/rhetoricstyle/a/100-Awfully-Good-Examples-Of-Oxymorons.htm) 

A quick test, see how many oxymoronic terms you can find in this article: 

It was an open secret that the company had used a paid volunteer to test the plastic glasses. Although they were made using liquid gas technology and were an original copy that looked almost exactly like a more expensive brand, the volunteer thought that they were pretty ugly and that it would be simply impossible for the general public to accept them. On hearing this feedback, the company board was clearly confused and there was a deafening silence. This was a minor crisis and the only choice was to drop the product line. (Much Ado About English. Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2006, (http://grammar.about.com/od/rhetoricstyle/a/100-Awfully-Good-Examples-Of-Oxymorons.htm) 

Crazy right? 

Here are a few more contradictory terms that I have found we have adopted into our language without thinking twice: same difference, alone together, awfully good, bitter sweet, clearly misunderstood, exact estimate, good grief, icy hot, mad happy and the living dead…just to name a few. 

Now, what I have learned through Pastor’s teaching and book is simply this…happiness is a choice that will effect you both inside and out. 

Yes...you will experience unhappy seasons and yes...you will be involved with unhappy situations, but at the end of the day…we must make the choice…for our overall lives…to be happy, or we will just remain miserable. 

In this life, we are allowed to grieve, to hurt, to cry. In this life, we will suffer, we will experience loss and we will go through pain. But we also have to believe God when He says to us through the apostle Paul to bring our worries and concerns to Him for He cares for us… 

It took some time for me to get it. I am a praying man, but I didn’t bring all my concerns to God like I now know I could have or should have. And the times that I did, I ended up complaining more than anything else. 

But thank God He didn’t turn me away when I complained. He simply led me to realize that life doesn’t change when you just…complain. I learned that it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to what happens to you. I learned that I needed to make better choices and except the things I could not change. Overall, I finally chose happiness as my attitude for life. If I didn’t, my family would suffer, my ministry would suffer and my life would suffer. 

Happiness is a choice. 

If you are suffering from depression, I am here to say that I totally understand and I am praying for you. 

That is the reason why I am sharing my heart in this article. This is the reason why I have been sharing the devotions from Pastor’s book ‘Happiness is…’ with the Boots Workshop Groups, to acknowledge that we can live in a state of unhappiness that kills you slowly on the inside and people won’t even detect it. 

I believe that is what we see at the heartbreaking loss of the beloved actor and comedian Robin Williams. The news reported his death as an apparent suicide caused by depression. 

This man made the world laugh for more than 4 decades, yet we would never imagine he would be suffering so severely from depression. 

You can make the whole world laugh while slowly decaying inside from unhappiness. That was me years ago. I was slowly decaying inside…and it went undetected for years. 

We can hide our unhappiness in a crowd by the art of distraction. We tell jokes, we gossip, we fight, we drink, we smoke, we over eat, we shop excessively, we jump in and out of relationships, and the list goes on… 

Today, I ask you to call or reach out to a close friend who you trust and that you know will pray for you. My wife is that friend for me. I could tell her my heart’s heaviness and she would listen and at times she would be kind enough to let me know that I was wrong to hold onto certain things. She would pray for me and cry with me and challenge me and at times…rebuke me. 

Happiness is a choice to confess to a friend your grievances. To pour out your heart’s heaviness or pain or frustrations and receive the right counsel. 

I encourage you today to reach out to that friend. 

If you’re sad, lonely, hurting. It’s okay, but reach out to someone…your happiness depends on it.

Here are words from James 5:13-16:

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. 

If you’re heart is sick, God instructs us to reach out to someone who can be spiritually responsible with your heart to pray. 

Helen Keller captured the importance of friendship through this incredible statement, "My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation." 

To share with a good friend is to make an investment towards your happiness

Make the choice loved ones…to be happy and sing praises to our God!!!! 

My heart and prayers goes out to Robin Williams wife, family, friends and fans. We love you and we will miss you. 

Na-nu Na-nu and Shazbot!!!

Repentance

Post by Darlene Aiken

How many of us used to think, and in some instances may still think, that they were right about a particular disagreement? When we believe that we are right we many times also believe that the "wrong" person owes us an apology. When it is suggested that we be the first to apologize, we cannot help but initially think or say, you must be crazy. I am not apologizing to him/her because I was right and he/she was wrong.

I would like to, in the age of many challenge competitions today, challenge you to think about repentance in a different manner. Our ego dictates that we should stick it out until the other person apologizes because, after all, they were wrong. However, as Christians also know as followers of Christ. We are taught that repentance is necessary. So, if God looks upon repentance as a necessity and we give preference to who is right and who is wrong, we exalt ourselves and beliefs over God's Word which equates to sin. Pastor Bernard teaches us that whatever we sin against in life, we bring death to it. 

So if we're waiting for our spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, whomever, to repent because we were right about a particular subject, we are really wrong, as we are behaving in a sinful manner. In addition, we are also chipping away at our relationship over a position of right vs. wrong. More importantly, we are gambling with our salvation. God will not be mocked! Whatever it is that you're "right" about, God has ways of having truth revealed without needing any help from us. When we truly believe that, it frees us from having to boast of being right. In fact, those who interact with us on a regular basis will even come to know that we possess a Godly character and that in and of itself, at times, will place us in a position that we don't feel the need to engage in right or wrong, rather seek repentance regardless, at the onset. 

The world in which we are living in today bombards us with so much so quickly, sometimes we do not know if we are coming or going. It is incumbent upon us to stop, take time to hear God speak to us via His Word. Stop holding onto being right rather seek His righteousness. Are your important relationships worthy of being sacrificed over who is right and who is wrong? Is the most important relationship with God worthy of being sacrificed? Is your salvation worthy of being sacrificed? Tomorrow nor the next minute is promised to any of us. Matthew 4:17 (NLT) "Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the kingdom of Heaven is near." I implore you to not wait as you will waste valuable time and you may not get another opportunity to not only say, "I apologize," but you may not be afforded the opportunity to say nor hear, "I Love You!" Luke 13:3b (NIV) "But unless you repent, you too will all perish." 

Indescribable Joy! Finding Your Purpose - Spending Time with Self - Part 1

Post by Carla Nelson

The most liberating moment of my life after accepting the gift of salvation has been discovering and embracing my purpose.  There is simply nothing better.  Everything in my life now revolves around knowing my purpose.  This unearthing has empowered me with clarity for all of my decisions.  I no longer accept just anything, now just anything simply will not do, I now know exactly what my standards and requirements are.   I can look at an opportunity and either say no that will not do it.  It will not compliment the vision I've been given (therefore alleviating a distraction), or yes that fits and will serve as a stepping-stone for the journey.  No more wandering or confusion.  It's a beautiful thing.  It is an indescribable joy and peace that cannot possibly be replicated, and I wish for you to have the same or a better experience in discovering yours.  I feel better, I get up better, walk better, talk better, I am just better all-around and I want nothing less for you. 

The gifts we have been given work together to enable our purpose and empower us to thrive.  Utilizing our gifts allows us to assist others in resolving their problems and by helping others and that is how we get blessed.  Gifts are that thing (or things) that is usually overlooked because they are as natural as the air we breathe.  It is our makeup, how He designed us, our fingerprints to leave an imprint on someone else's life.

Trust me discovering your calling takes you to a level you never could have imagined.  I believe not knowing is a Travesty - that's my opinion based on my epiphany alone.  The gifts are given without repentance, so regardless of what you might have done in the past they are there, possibly lying dormant awaiting to be awakened.  We can't escape them and most likely may not reach our full potential and joy without this discovery.  

“For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.”

Rom. 11:29 NLT

Well how do I find my purpose you say?  Six things proved beneficial for me in my discovery.  In this entry I'll share first things first, spend time with yourself.  Good - quality - time - alone with - YOU!

I used to buy an ice cream cone and go sit by the water to think, pray and listen. There is just something about the water.  It brings me serenity and clears my mind.  Get away from your normal surroundings.  Exploration of different environments illuminates our thoughts.  Go to places you gravitate to.  Be still and listen. Check your desires with the word of God and then go for it.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.”

Phil 4:8 NIV

“In the Lord’s hand the king’s heart is a stream of water that he channels toward all who please him.”

Prov. 21:1 NIV

I have often heard it said (paraphrasing) that many people have taken their untapped gifts with them to the grave upon death and never reached their full potential in life.   Don't let this be you.  Discover your purpose, put it to work, empower yourself and others by utilizing it.  Spend some time alone by yourself with God.  I promise you it'll be worth it and your life will never be the same again.

Funny How Time Flies When We're Having Fun!

Post by Darlene Aiken

Seems like yesterday that we were accepting invitations to college and high school graduations, preparing for the Memorial Day cookout, deciding what would be on the agenda for the Fourth of July, and now when I turn on the television, I see back-to-school commercials already!!! WOW!!! Where does the time go?

If you have been thinking this, join the club, you’re not alone. The days seem to just fly by so quickly. As the summer begins to leave, take this time to reflect with your family. Come up with three things as individuals that you would like to do better in your walk with God. Once each person has come up with his or her three things, place each into a hat and have the family choose one thing for each person and those will be the new family goals. This will help with keeping one another together when one begins to fall to the wayside – which is human, by the way.

Also, this allows for accountability because we all need someone to hold us accountable, but also, since everyone was included in the decision-making it does not feel as if someone else is trying to get you to subscribe to their cause while your beliefs and goals fall to the wayside.  Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Please keep in mind, this does not give individual family members the right to exercise harsh sanctions against one another (unless of course it’s a parent who sees fit to implement punishment, restriction, etc.), but its purpose is to provide like-minded support 1 Timothy 5:8 – But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he had denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Parents, not only will this help the entire family, but especially as it pertains to your children.  What you may eventually observe is your children’s selection of different friends. Many times what happens is as children grow and mature they begin to form new alliances anyway, but now, moving in a spiritual motion, those who are not interested in Godly activities and conversations will remove themselves from your children’s circle. There may be times when your child might feel lonely or isolated for a period. This is the time you make certain to keep them busy with Christian activities that are wholesome and fun 1 Corinthians 13:7 – Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have, but it can also be the most rewarding job you will ever have, done God’s way.

Self-Talk Is What's Most Important

Post by Carla Nelson

“Self-talk is the most important talk you can have”, a paraphrase of a statement I heard Pastor Bernard make several weeks ago during service. 

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

Proverbs 23:7 KJV

It was one of those sweet peaceful moments of reminiscence, when you don’t even have time to capture the wisdom statement on paper (ha ha or iPad).  You just sit there and mediate on how much that statement resonates with your life.  You see I have or had this condition called perfectionism.  I tried my best to make everything as flawless as possible.  For years that was a problem, but now I can say, that was an overzealous Spirit of Excellence that I now have under control. 

Today I strive for excellence.  I do not let the desire for producing superior results control my very existence in life. Trust me it can become a problem, and it did.  When you are a perfectionist you beat yourself far, far worse than anyone ever can, when something does not turn out the way you want.  Truth be told, we all can have a touch of perfectionism.  Why do I say this?  Because we all can be our own worst enemy when something goes awry based on a decision we have made.  Understandably so, we were made in the image of God and therefore want everything to turn out right.

But can I step back for a moment?  You see perfectionism is a tactic of the adversary.  A superiority complex used by the enemy to bring you down; trying to be like God.  Isn’t that what got him kicked out of Heaven?  Let’s keep it real, he, the adversary, wants us to fall like him.   As the scripture tells us, it is okay to be upset about results of a decision.  The thing is, don’t do something rash like beating yourself up.

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

Ephesians 4:26 ESV

Calm down, take the bitter with the sweet, recover from it and move on to accomplish something else.  I said to my tailor once, I made a mistake and messed up this blouse.  I was so distraught; I loved that blouse and couldn’t find another like it.  He stopped me and said “no, that’s called wisdom.”

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”

Ecclesiastes 1:18 NIV

Oh my goodness, in past times when I made a negative result producing decision I was horrible.  I would say all kinds of things to myself.  You’re stupid!  How could you do such a thing?  What were you thinking?  On and on and on I would go.  I would shut myself in and would not even answer the phone.  I didn’t even want to be seen.  I would go into isolation, beating myself up and realistically accomplishing nothing but self-annihilation.  Shucks the enemy didn’t have anything to do.  I was destroying myself for him, literally! Jesus tells us that loving ourselves is the second greatest commandment.

“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 22:39 NIV

You cannot love your neighbor unless you love yourself.  One of the first things taught before setting sail on a cruise, in the event of having to abandon ship, is to preserve your life first.  Properly secure your life jacket before trying to save someone else, or you will become an ineffective rescuer and you and the person you are trying to save will both go down with the ship together.

One of my spiritual mentors taught me, when you have a problem do an autopsy of the situation, learn from the results, bury the situation and move on.  Once you understand what skewed the outcome do not keep revisiting the problem in your mind, doing so serves no purpose other than to cause depression.   Shake that situation off and rise above it.  Thoroughly review the facts surrounding that situation, so that you can obtain the wisdom and prevent reoccurrences of similar consequences.

So I say to you today, stop beating on yourself!  Shut that pity party down and forgive yourself!  Stop it!  Let today be liberation day for you.    By all means –- Bury that situation and Move On!

It's Hotter Than July...Oh! It is July!!!

Post by Darlene Aiken

Now is the time when we are all seeking invitations to beach and pool parties so that we can cool off during the hottest days of the year. Now is also the time when people shed their coats, books, scarves, jackets, and layers of clothing. Now is also the time when some shed a little more than they should. 

Parents, let us keep abreast of what our children are doing and wearing. We can start by knowing what is in their wardrobe. Some things we should not be afraid to tell our children they cannot purchase. For those times that our children go shopping alone with their friends and their friends parents who might be a little more flexible with their rules. Remind your children that bags will be inspected upon return to the house. Because we’ve been called to be parents, we must always be 10 spaces ahead of our children. So, let them know that all items in the bag will be matched up against the receipt. This prevents them from purchasing something and hiding it at their friend’s house or stuffing it behind a bush and coming back for it later. It also allows you to account for the allotted money. Some people and parents might be thinking that this is too “strict”. The Word says, in Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

We as Christian parents must not be slack with setting God inspired rules in our home. We must be vigilant in making sure that our children’s best interest is consistently in mind as well as enforced. The devil and his cohorts are coming for Christian children faster and harsher than ever before. We must not be concerned with how others view us or even by what they may be saying because we have rules that others may not – Romans 12:2 – And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Remember, people are always talking, so why not let their conversations consist of how you and your family are followers of God.

Children need Godly consistency and Godly rules within the home, for if not, they will be governed by the rules and consistency of the ungodly who seek their lives by any means necessary. So, have fun, enjoy the summer, but be Godly and be wise, keeping in mind that wisdom and God are synonymous – Proverbs 3:7 – Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.

Six Helpful Tips for Transitioning Your Children from the School Year to the Summertime

By Darlene Aiken

I can attest to the fact that while raising my son, our fall schedule was hectic, to say the least.  In addition to the schedule, we had to factor in inclement weather which means additional clothing to wear outside, but to carry with us for extracurricular sports and other activities.

Whether your schedule is just as hectic in the summer as in the winter, one thing is for sure, many of us view summer as a merited occasion. However, I implore parents to not get so caught up that you lose sight of keeping your children focused as well as alert.  I have provided some helpful tips that worked for my family and I pray that they yield the same positive results for your family. 

1.    Set aside time at least once per week where the family reads together. Although you all may read separate books, this is time to bond and afterward share in a discussion about the books that each person in the family has read. Not only does this encourage reading within each child, but it opens up the atmosphere for dialogue.  Today’s youth have so much to contend with that it behooves parents to develop creative ways in which to get their children to open up.

2.    Make sure that once per day, the family shares a meal together. During meal time all phones need to be turned off, no television, radio, company, etc. strictly family time. This also serves as an excellent manner in which to get children to open up about feelings, peers, school, etc. and parents have the opportunity to implement subtle discipline. WARNING: children may reveal some things that you were not expecting to hear, so be prepared. Deuteronomy 6:7 – and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when hou liest down, and when thou risest up.

3.    Include children, regardless of age, in the planning of daycations, vacations, staycations, etc. Whenever everyone feels as if they have a voice, all parties are willing to compromise with others. Additionally, you make your children feel as if they are an important part of the family structure and that their input is valuable.  This helps to build a healthy self-esteem and helps to cease them from feeling the need to seek wanting to “fit it” in outside groups/gangs. Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

4.   Just before the Labor Day weekend, slowly integrate the fall schedule so that you will not have so much resistance once school begins.  An example might be to implement the curfews first. Ephesians 6:4 and, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

5.   While traveling by car use that as a teachable moment by playing fun games that keep children’s brains functioning. For example, have each person in the car look at the letters on the license plates of moving vehicles and try to spell words from them by using at least two of the three letters on each plate without repeating a word. This increases their vocabulary and teaches them letter recognition. You might want to add the amount of time in which they have to create each word to increase the fun.

6.   Instead of cooking out in the backyard all of the time, pack your things and go to a local park and cook out. Have your children invite a few friends. Here’s the tricky part - there is always at least one friend that parents despise their children being around - that’s the friend to invite to some of the outings. Here’s why: (1) you then get to control the environment of that child while in your child’s company,  (2) you get to instill your Christian values within that child and have a greater chance of pulling him/her into your beliefs without being pushy because they’ll see that Christians are wholesome, normal, cool, and fun, & (3) your child now gets to see their friend in a different light and can begin to make his/her own assessment.  Treat them with Christian kindness and you will find that your children and their friends will see your home as the “go to” space many times and you worry less because you know of your children’s whereabouts.

Remember the key is to raise healthy children who possess great Christian values. Therefore, it is incumbent upon parents to become active participants within the lives of their children otherwise other influences will take hold.  Enjoy your summer, however, be strategic and wise as wisdom seeking is Godly.
 

Note: Bible verses are from the King James Version (KJV).

What Condition is your Attitude!

Post by Pastor A. R. Bernard

Gifted People Fired for Bad Attitudes – Per ABC Good Morning America Report November 8, 2005 7AM

- Terrell Owens, former Philadelphia Eagles Football Team player was let go not because of his game but because of his mouth.
- College Basketball Coach Bobby Knight was fired from Indiana for throwing chairs and tantrums.
- The great General Douglas McArthur was fired in the middle of the Korean War because of a bad attitude.
- Actress Shannon Dougherty was fired from the hit TV show Beverley Hills 90210 for a bad attitude.
- A film Director once said Marilyn Monroe was worth a week’s torment just to get those three luminous minutes on the screen. But even she was let go from her last picture.
- How much should we take of someone’s bad attitude? When someone’s bad attitude begins to hurt morale, it’s time to call it quits.
- When one person’s bad attitude overshadows everybody else their performance or great ability is no longer as important as their attitude. 

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

“It has been said that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to what happens to you.  So it is in your hands...you are in charge of your attitude!”

Three Things We Give Up To Gain All

Guest Post by Kendria Smith

The month of May marks my tenth anniversary as a New Yorker. Even after a decade, I can’t imagine life in a greater city than the Big Apple. The people I’ve met, art I’ve experienced, foods I’ve tasted and neighborhoods I’ve lived in are just a few things that foster my appreciation for city living. Of course, as many know, it’s not without its drawbacks. There are certain things I’ve had to do without in order to thrive (or more like survive) throughout the years, i.e., personal space, a car, disposable income, peaceful nights, to name a few. 

I’ve also come to look at my life as a Christian in the same light. Although I grew up in a Christian home and really came into my faith in college, it’s only through time that I’ve grown to understand the daily choices I make to follow after Christ. These decisions have a direct effect on my spiritual development. In Galatians, Paul reminds us that we are crucified with Christ. Therefore, if He lives within us and we are a new creation how are we reflecting it in our lives? 

As Christians, here are three things we need to remind ourselves to relinquish every day in order to grow deeper in faith:

1. Control
No matter who you are or what you believe, no one can see the future or has the power to control every aspect in life. Try as we might to plan ahead in an effort to hedge against the worst, we are all susceptible to factors that can lead to some form of hardship (illness, job loss, financial struggle, relational conflict, etc). On the flip side, the concept of being in control of our lives and “masters of our own destiny” would lead us to believe that when all is right with the world and we’re at the top of our game then we are the ones who deserve the glory. 

We are reminded in the Word that God is in control of every situation. Proverbs 19:21 states “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” This verse reminds us to hold our plans loosely and when things don’t turn out the way we hoped, there is a choice to make: We can waste our efforts in worry of what’s to come or live a full life expecting God to do more than we can hope or imagine. Good or bad, we may not have control of what happens, but we can control how we respond.

2. Comfort
It can be a harsh realization for many believers that God is not concerned about our comfort, although how we are feeling at any point in time is usually at the forefront of our minds. Growing up, my parents consistently reminded me that “Christianity is not for cowards.” This stood as a blanket statement for the many times I would come to them with the infamous questions that I, myself, knew there were no quick, clear answers to: “Why would God allow this situation to happen to me?” “When will this situation come to an end?” The real answer: Character Development. Through our conflicts come maturity, yet no one wants to focus on that when they’re in the midst of a trial. 

As Christians, our job is to continue to become more and more like the character Jesus portrayed on earth. This is what the world needs to see every day through our lives. How we develop this character may not always be to our liking, but one thing we can take comfort in is the eternal promise in John 16:33 where Jesus proclaims, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

3. Condemnation
One of the enemy’s biggest ploys is to feed us our past iniquities in the present to watch us destroy our future. Although 1 John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins God will forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness, we still must fight every day to renew our minds against…ourselves. Why is it so important to forgive ourselves? First of all, as much as our goal is to become more like Jesus, we will never be perfect. Knowing this, God sent a perfect substitute in our place. So why waste time living in condemnation instead of grace? 

Secondly, condemnation makes us feel unqualified for living out God’s purpose for our lives and reach beyond ourselves to support others. There’s nothing the enemy wants more than to paralyze us by making us question our self-worth and identity in Christ. So when that critical voice begins to cloud your better judgment, fight by speaking out these words of truth declared in Romans 8:1: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

What are the areas you still need to learn to let go of in your walk with God?

The Christian Life: What's Your Motivation?

Guest Post by Kendria Smith

I grew up as a believer, and while some seasons were a bit more “faith-filled” then others, as I reflect on my life experience in over thirty years, I’ve continued to hold strong to my core Christian beliefs. Even during my undergraduate years when it seemed like every ideology conceivable was brought into question and sometimes outright ridiculed by faculty and fellow peers, the thought of renouncing my faith and living in a world where I was the master of my own universe or where things occurred by mere happenstance was never enough to get me out of bed each day. And you’d probably think that living in ultra-liberal New York City for the past ten years would be enough to dissuade me, yet I still hold ever more strongly to the belief in a benevolent God who sacrificed his perfect Son to save me. Definitely not popular water cooler conversation at the office…

Why do I STILL believe?

Like many Christians, I’ve had my moments of utter confusion, specifically on the morning of 9/11. That fall, I was starting my junior year at Syracuse University. I had just come back from the gym and was preparing for a full day of classes when I entered my dorm and saw an abnormally large mass of students huddled together in the lounge room staring intensely at a large screen television. I had to ask someone what was happening and once the news sunk in, I made a mad dash to my room to call everyone I knew living in the metro New York area, especially my father. While all my loved ones were safe, I was not mentally, spiritually or emotionally prepared for the residual impact that the morning’s horrific event would have on my campus community, the nation and the world we once thought we knew.

I remember days of vigils and prayer meetings, the main chapel in the middle of campus overflowing with somber, bewildered faces. I even skipped classes, too engrossed by the continual news cycles reporting the very latest as the death toll climbed. Why should I write a paper on human sexuality when it seemed my very humanity could be endangered and erased in a blink of an eye? It seemed like everyone knew someone who lived in New York City and, more specifically, knew someone who may have been affected in some way by the attack. While many reached out to their personal form of theology for comfort in ways they may never have before, it was impossible to ignore the surging of desperate voices grasping for answers and hope to cling to.

This marked a pivotal moment in my life as a young Christian. Many friends and peers knew me as a believer and I felt responsible to stand up for my faith and my God, yet nothing I had experienced in my 19 years of life prepared me to be able to glean clarity out of such tragedy. In my mind, God had not changed, the world around me had. It’s this simple principle that I’ve clung to 13 years later. My daily choice to walk with God MUST be bigger than what is happening around me and my limited ability to make sense of it all.

In the Bible, Job must have understood this, as well. In Job 2:9, his own wife commanded him “to curse God and die.” I’m pretty sure you know you’ve hit rock bottom when your supposed partner for life, in the good and the bad times and in sickness and in health, has nothing of value to say other than to instruct you to renounce your faith and giving up living! Yet Job’s response in verse three is, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

Clearly, Job was in it for the long haul. He had the kind of commitment that, over time, builds character and maturity and can speak volumes to those who witness it play out, day after day, week after week, year after year. The longevity of a Christian life arms and conditions us for those rough seasons when absolutely nothing makes sense, yet we soldier on trusting God, loving others, and sharing the kind of light that the world desperately needs. This is our motivation because life is not about us. It’s through our weathered hearts and fierce resolve that we carry out our mission to become more like Christ, which is the very definition of victory.

Success Without Character?

Post by Pastor A. R. Bernard

Some time ago a Chairman and CEO of a large American Corporation announced publicly his company’s vision: “To become the most innovating and reliable provider of his products and services worldwide.” He continued to tell of his upbringing as the son of a Baptist Minister. “From this background,” he said, “I was fully exposed to not only legal behavior but moral and ethical behavior and what that means from the standpoint of leading organizations and people. I was, and am, a strong believer that one of the most satisfying things in life is to create a highly moral and ethical environment in which every individual is allowed and encouraged to realize their God-given potential. There are few things more satisfying than to see individuals reach levels of performance that they would have thought virtually impossible for themselves.

The Chairman and CEO’s name was Kenneth Lay. The name of the corporation was Enron. Ken Lay surrendered to the FBI on July 12, 2004 indicted for corporate fraud and conspiracy. He died on July 5, 2005 at the age of 64, while awaiting sentencing.

Success can take you to heights where your character cannot sustain you!  A. R. Bernard

“Beloved I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, EVEN AS YOUR SOUL prospers.”

3 John 2 NKJV

God can bless you with success but YOU have the responsibility to develop the character needed to sustain that success.   A. R. Bernard

How Social Media is Changing How We Interact as a Society

Post by the CCC Web Services Department

As a society it is hard to deny that social media has completely revolutionized the way we as a people relate to each other and interact with one another. Christian Cultural Center (CCC) located in Brooklyn, utilizes social media as a forum to share love, hope and words of encouragement.

Social media has added an extensive list of jargon to our vocabulary and made more than half of the population connoisseurs of foreign cultures. How effective would social media be if we were not able to laugh out loud (lol) or shake our heads (smh). What social media has not changed is what in fact is being said, what needs to be said and the fact that people still judge the impact of their words by how many people agree, like, share or re-tweet their thoughts.

Social media provides the advantage of masking feelings and emotions that would have once been apparent in the tone of our voice or the directness of our speech. To some extent social media has also limited how much we communicate, while we are able to speak for long periods of time without fatigue, the fast-paced world of social media likes instant messaging, hashtags, 7-second videos and concise repartee and so we condense our thoughts into as few words as possible leaving meanings to be ascribed or inferred. Even three simple words such as “I love you” become an easily inserted emoticon, with little emotion or effort behind it.

There once was a time when we were encouraged to share; to give back as much as possible, with social media we run the risk of over-sharing. If you ponder the predicament closely, prior to social media there was never really such a thing as over-sharing, now the term over-share has perpetuated society limiting the amount of sharing we do outside of social media forums because over-sharing is bad in any situation. Let us not forget Hebrews 13:16 “And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Many people will argue, quite validly, that social media has perpetuated the feelings of loneliness and isolation many people feel. Never in the history of human society have we ever been so connected and never before have people felt lonelier. The CCC church has made it part of its mission to utilize social media to connect with people. Some people just need a word of prayer or a kind word and by integrating the social media into our website we are able to connect with more people and to engage them in life-changing experiences.

Social media is a haven for those who have a lot to say but no local audience, or those who have lots to show to anyone who is interested. Social media is all about public speaking without the added fear of stage fright but then again when a place like the church says we want to pray for you, they have no fear, only faith that you will respond.

Pastor Bernard's Keyword to Success

Post by Pastor A. R. Bernard

It was December of 2004.  We were having our annual staff Christmas Banquet at the Huntington Townhouse.  The atmosphere was filled with warmth, fellowship and celebration.  As my wife Karen and I went from table to table greeting the staff and their spouses, a young man came up to me and asked if I could express the secret of my success in one word.  I immediately responded, “God”.  He laughed and said I figured that out already, but on a practical level what one word would you use as the secret of your success?  I asked for some time to think about it.  My fellowship with the staff came to a screeching halt as I was given this challenge to sum up my life’s success in one word.  An hour went by as I entered the philosophical cerebral zone of my mind.  Suddenly a single word came to my heart by way of the Holy Spirit.  “Persistence”!  I never thought of that before yet it is true that no matter how educated or talented we may be, if we don’t persist in pursuit of our goals, passion or vision it will never be realized.

Persistence separates the men from the boys, the seekers from the finders, the dreamers from the visionaries.  Persistenceturns dreams into reality.  I found the young man later in the evening and gave him my answer.  He gave me a casual response not realizing the power in that word.  Since then, it has become my answer to the reason for my success other than the grace of God.

I came across these words spoken by U.S. President Calvin Coolidge.  May it become the secret of your success!

Persistence – The Words of Calvin Coolidge

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not.
Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
Genius will not.
Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not.
The world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

Scriptural References:
Importunity – Luke 11:8
Widow with the unjust judge – Luke 18:6

Love Is All Around You: Six Ways to Enjoy Valentine's Day

This is a guest post by Kendria Smith

When was the last time you felt deeply loved? For some of you, it may have been receiving flowers or a card from a significant other or having a friend stop by with soup when they heard you were sick. Maybe you came home from a long day of work and found your roommate had made dinner to share or it could be something as simple as getting an encouraging phone call from Mom and Dad to let you know they’re thinking and praying for you.

No matter what your relationship status, love is expressed in different ways and by so many people in our lives. So what is it about the mere mention of Valentine’s Day that makes so many singles feel so insignificant?

I’ve recently contemplated this question, after experiencing a breakup. I spent the last few months of 2013 dating a great guy (we’ll call him “Bob”) whom I met in church, grew to care for deeply, but took a while to realize we had fundamental differences. As a fast-talking, speed walking, list making, social butterfly, I admired Bob’s quiet, relaxed demeanor because it was so different than my own. He seemed mysterious, which was alluring at first, but while opposites may attract, it’s only God’s grace that can hold two people and their differences together. In the end, there were no hard feelings. We both recognized that we tried our best to embrace our commonalities, but overall we were not God’s best for each other. As the disappointment set in it left me grappling with the common question, “Okay God, if not him, then who?!”

Well, six weeks into the New Year and still no answer yet. Yet, through much self-reflection and prayer, I’ve come to a magnificent revelation about my life. Before, during, and after any dating relationship, one thing remains:

I am loved. Still.

As a Christian I was raised believing that God automatically loved me, but it’s over time that I’ve come to realize and appreciate that He has also blessed me with an amazing family and network of friends. I take my relationships very seriously, and through the years have poured countless time and energy into seeing them grow. In turn, these people, my many significant others, have stood by me, encouraged me, listened to me, prayed over me, and loved me for over three decades. They’ve never stopped. They pursue my heart and watch over me despite my current relationship status. Why? Because I have chosen to love beyond the parameters that society may deem “significant.”

One day soon I’ll meet the man God has set apart for me to marry, but he’ll never “complete” me, and he’ll have to be very comfortable with the fact that I come with a cavalcade of life-time friendships, protective parents and prayer warriors who aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

In Matthew 22:37-39, the second commandment after loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength is to love others as we love ourselves. So whether you’re in a relationship or not, ask yourself if you’re loving on all cylinders today? If love is what you’re looking for, remember that what you sow you also reap. So here are six ways that you can get proactive and kick loneliness and self-pity to the curb on Valentine’s Day:

1. Volunteer
Show love by donating your time to visit a nursing home, serve dinner at a local church or soup kitchen or tutor a child.
2. Babysit
Show love by seeking out a single mom or couple in your community and watch their kids so they can have a much-needed night off.
3. Treat a friend
Show love by grabbing another fun, single girl or guy friend and taking them out to dinner and a movie.
4. Host a party
Show love by using Valentine’s Day as an excuse for getting friends together and throwing a party. Trivia night, anyone?
5. Treat Yourself
Show love by spending a restful evening on your own, either at a spa, fixing your favorite meal or watching a movie.
6. Reflect & Refocus
If none of the first five suggestions seem appealing, it may be time to play hardball. If you keep journals, reach for an old one. Spend some time flipping through the pages and reflecting on your life and how God has brought you through, thus far. If you don’t keep journals, open your Bible and observe God’s love and faithfulness through the life of Ruth, who was left as a widow, in the Book of Ruth, Joseph after he was sold into slavery by his brothers in Genesis 37, or Jesus, who was sinless but died for our salvation in Matthew 27:32-56. You’ll be unequivocally reminded that God has so much more in store for you beyond this one day, and embracing the call to love will lead to a lifetime of happiness.

The Old Me in a New Year

This is a guest post by Kendria Smith

Christmas is the one time of the year when my entire family makes the biggest effort to get together. You would be amazed at the time and energy we spend throughout the year to plan one week of vacation. Everyone weighs in to pick a location, flights are booked months in advance, hours are spent pursuing reviews on Tripadvisor.com to pick the best accommodations and an extensive menu of our favorite holiday foods is amassed on a Google document and shared with each member for review. We then board planes, trains, buses and cars and brave snow, rain, wind and fog to gather together and share where life has taken us in the last 51 weeks.

Yet, shortly after carols are sung, gifts are exchanged, and final remnants of the Christmas feast has been finished….the bickering begins! It’s the smallest of infractions that gradually disrupts the delicate harmony of our limited quality time. It’s the natural heightened emotions, unmet expectations, unresolved grievances and reopened wounds that result in spending time with those you love most. After all, the places we choose to meet may have changed, but the faces and, unfortunately, the baggage they bring has not. Year after year, we carry with us attitudes and mindsets that only those closest to us may recognize.

I observed this ritual, on our final days of vacation, as we began to repack and part ways in preparation for another year. It made me stop to consider what patterns of my character that I knew needed to change was I continuing to carry with me from place to place. This form of introspection is common, as many slow down from the hustle of the holidays in order to reflect on the past year and scribe a thoughtful list of resolutions that could lead to a better future and more evolved sense of self. But what I’ve noticed over time is that many list toppers--lose weight, quit smoking, reduce stress, have better time management, get out of debt, and spend more quality time with loved ones, are based on our shallow ability to modify our behavior. They have little to do with a much needed change of the heart that only God can work within us, if we let Him.

While there is nothing wrong with making resolutions, we must also realize that when the clock strikes midnight the only thing that will change is time. There is no magic. We still bring our old selves into the New Year along with all of our grand expectations. 

To be completely candid, I could stand to be a lot more compassionate. The baggage I carry with me into 2014 is a growing apathy and callous demeanor that has developed slowly over time. It sneaks up on me when someone less fortunate asks me for money on the street and I turn away in annoyance or when I neglect to help a friend in need if it will even slightly interfere with my daily schedule. It’s the idea that my needs take precedence over others because I believe that for some reason I’ve prayed/worked/strived harder to deserve my place in life and the things I want and need, especially when it comes to my time.

It’s through this self-involved nature that causes many close relationships to suffer and deteriorate, as well as drawing us further away from our call as Christians to be light and hope in a dark and lonely world. And as I’ve spent more time in the Word in the last few days of 2013, Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians revealed a beautiful truth about the blessing of God’s grace when applied to our sinful nature.

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

I wish I could will myself to be more selfless. I wish writing the words “Love people more” on a list of resolutions would assure a change in my character by a certain date. But that’s not how it works. Instead, I’ve realized in this passage that my shortcomings are revealed as a method to not only remain humble but bring me closer to my Creator, who is the only one who can fix what is broken. I’m then reminded that God’s grace bestowed upon me enables me to show His love through grace to others in my daily life. 

Grace is the simple act of saying please and thank you, paying a sincere compliment or kind gesture just because I can and being quick to apologize and humble in accepting someone else’s forgiveness. It’s going out of my way every day to find at least one opportunity to bless someone knowing full well that even if the act of kindness is not returned or fully appreciated God is always working behind the scenes to bless me in bigger and better ways. 

If a label is required, then I declare that grace is my New Year’s resolution for 2014. But as I draw closer to God in the upcoming year, when I’m able to look back and find my heart has grown a little softer, if my response is a little kinder and my willingness to serve others a little stronger, I hope to surpass the need to rectify my weaknesses based on an annual date on a calendar. I want to have the same urgency for God to work within me on March 14th as I would on December 31st, as personal growth becomes less of a resolution and more of a way of life. 

Like Paul, what weaknesses do you realize you need God to work within in order to reach a new level strengthen in 2014?

Stop the Madness! Bringing Merry Back to Christmas

This is a guest post by Kendria Smith

Is it just me or does it seem like the older you get the less illustrious the holiday season becomes? I remember celebrating Christmas as a child. As the oldest of three, raised by a single mother, I realized very early on that being able to afford Christmas gifts was a luxury, not an entitlement. Money was tight and I was under no illusion of who “Santa” really was, because it was my mother who worked very hard to make sure there were gifts under the tree for each one of us, year after year.

The joy of ripping wrapping paper from boxes filled with toys was never the most memorable part of celebrating Christmas for me growing up. The festivity was set in motion by the onset of…GLITTER. Handcrafted paper snowflakes, Christmas cards, pine cone tree ornaments, and popsicle stick picture frames you name it. By the time the holiday came around, I left school with a comprehensive portfolio of elaborate arts and crafts, laden with a thick coat of shimmery red and green glitter.

Each year, the highlight of the season was the excitement surrounding my school’s annual Christmas pageant. After weeks of rehearsing, nothing was more satisfying than watching parents light up with pride as my classmates and I reenacted the nativity story and bellowed out old-fashion carols like “Go Tell It On the Mountain,” “Jingle Bells,” and “Hark! The Harold Angels Sing.”

Life seemed simple back then. Now, much of my perception of the holiday is riddled with anxiety, starting as early as mid-October. I distinctly remember making a run to my local pharmacy to purchase a tube of toothpaste when I was attacked by tinsel as soon as I stepped into the store! My mind went into a tailspin as I rummaged through my bag to check the date on my phone. Christmas was a good ten weeks out and I already felt ill-prepared!

By the first week of November I had made my Christmas list and was checking it twice…for names I could possible eliminate to stay within my shopping budget (so much for the joy of “the season of giving”). Don we now our credit cards as we usher in a new wave of holiday prep. It is increasingly replacing the intimate moments of fellowship and gratitude shared with family and friends, as the overpublicized, and sometimes fatal, frenzy of Black Friday shopping encroaches on our Thanksgiving dinners. And once again, I was caught up in madness, spending countless hours standing in long shopping lines, surfing the web in search of the best bargains, and researching consumer reviews online to determine which gadget would make a better gift this year: Apple’s new iPad Air or iPad Mini.

This year alone, the National Retail Federation projects holiday sales to reach $602.1 billion, which is a 3.9% increase from last year’s $579.5 billion. The NRF also cites that the average consumer spends more than $700 on holiday shopping, including gifts, food, and décor, which, as a follower of Christ, who is called to reflect his love here on earth, leads me to wonder where the heart is behind all this holiday spending? Is any of my contribution to that $602.1 billion going to those truly in need? And, like the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-30, if Jesus came to us on December 26th, after we’d opened all our Christmas presents, and asked us to relinquish our shiny, new toys, give them to the poor and focus on storing up treasures in heaven instead, what would our reaction be, then?

The answer to these questions reveals a lot about the condition of our hearts and our ability to really appreciate the holiday as it is meant to be celebrated. As Christians, surely we know that the real meaning of Christmas is nothing that can be purchased by camping out in front of a store or claiming the best deals on Cyber Monday. To grasp the full value of the holiday is to reflect on the sacrifice that was made when God sent his only Son, who knew no sin, into a depraved world to live with the sole purpose of dying for our salvation. Of all the gifts you could give and receive this season, there is still no greater expression of love known to man than this. Yet, just like anyone else, Christians are still susceptible to the materialism tied to the holiday that draws our attention from the joy and peace we should be experiencing, not just on Christmas Day, but all year round.

So here are a few suggestions to help regain perspective and recapture the joy of the holiday:

Stick to a Budget

Maybe it’s all those blinking tree lights that hypnotize us into believing we're shopping from someone else's bank account. While the concept of giving to others is a primary theme, the truth is: there is nothing merry about debt. As great as all those bargain deals might seem, the holidays is not the time to “wing it” when it comes to your spending. If you haven’t budgeted in advance for your shopping needs, take a good look at your finances and determine exactly how much you’re able to spend. And if you can’t afford to buy gifts for everyone on your list this year, don’t be afraid to get a little creative. Check out Pinterest for some crafty holiday gift ideas.

Offer Your Time

The gift of giving doesn’t always need to come in the form of money or material possessions. In Matthew 25:40, He commanded, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” So what’s the best gift you could give to honor Christ’s birth this season? How about donating your time to serve meals at your local church or shelter, babysit for a single mother so that she can take some much needed personal time off, or even offer to shovel snow from a neighbor’s driveway? Also, giving the gift of time is a great way to think outside the box when it comes to staying inside your budget.

Embrace Each Moment

In the hustle and distractions of life, we tend to forget that each day is a blessing and the future is not promised to us. Christmas only comes once a year, and for many of us, it’s the only time we have to gather with the majority of our friends and family. So whether your holiday travels lead you across the river to another borough or across time zones to a different coast, make it worth the trip by being present. Put down the iPad, turn off the Xbox, and engage with the loved ones around you.

What do you look forward to most during the holiday season and what do you do to maintain the true spirit of Christmas?